Apr 24 2010's Afternoon.

Yesterday was a happy day! Even though all night and in the morning yu were mad at me but after you got to my house. Everything is fine again. We love each other so much and everything he did make me sooo happy and I feel like the happiest person in the world. He is just the person who understands and loves me most in the world. I can not live with out him and that is just right. I think that I can't leave you for any second because even though we are on webcam, we are so weird to each others and it bugs me a lot I don't know what is my problem. It seems like on webcam, everything I do bothers you, makes you sad or feel weird. Uhh I just don't get why ong xaa, I just wanna make you happy like what you did to mee, but whyy can't I do itt?!! It's like for every now, we are mad and being weird at each other at least once, it really makes me feel so down and sad and I know that you feel the same way. I try to it, but I don't know what is the best idea. I am so tired of myself because I always making you sad and stuff, I wanna hit myself, so hard, so I can wake up and know the right solution to make you happy all the time. I'm just so stupid right babe?

I need you ong xa, I really do. You are my everything and I hope you know that. It's just I think now there are more complicated stuff that happened in our lives. My nosy family knows about us and keep getting on our way. Our summer jobs, our summer reading stuff, our A.P's classes, School works, ect. So many things that happened and something I don't even know what to do. To keep balance on all these things are not easy, but I'm always trying to make everything the best as I can. But the thing that I will never give up and will never lose to is our love! I make sure that nothing will interupt and hurt our relationship because babe, I really can't live without you..

Ong xa it is our relationship, we needa solve things out together, because that is how we build our love stronger, I believe in you and in our love babee!

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!
I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE YOU SAD ANYMORE! [WELL I WILL TRY THE BESTTT]
BABEEE YOU KNOW THAT I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOUUU!
SO JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINKK AND DON'T FEEL WEIRD ANYMOREEEEEE BABEEE
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, I NEED YOUUU IN MY LIFE TO KEEPS ME LIVING !!

Wo ai nii :}

Happy 11 Months anniversary! I love you babe! & I also need you to trust me.. that is how I can keep moving on in life..

Happy 11 months! I am so happy and thankful for everything that we had done for each other. Without you, I wouldn't know and feel the real and true happiness. Without you, I wouldn't even know how to face complicated situations and I wouldn't believe in true love if there was no you. Babe, I really love you and you know it. I just cannot describe it and I hope it will last forever since I believe, and I hope you also believe in us too. It was a happy day with you coming over, I didn't go with your friends, but me. That really means a lot to me ong xa, like a lot. Because it would so lonely to spend anniversary of us on my own. Ong xaa, I always hope and hope and hope that we are going to be forever because I can't wait to our future. And I know it's a long way there. But I will never give up because sometime I make you sad, make you feel bad, I make myself tired because of me. But I still stand up and believe in out love because my heart is too strong and because you already really really took my heart away with you and I can't live without it. you really did. I don't know what you think about me every time I make you disappointed, I'm really sorry for all I did and I hope you will forgive me and will never give up, just like me.

Ong xa, I need you to trust me, even though I disappointed you many times already, but I promise I will fix my mistakes and I did and I will. I know you really worry about a lot, and I am too. But aren't you want me to be careful? Everytime I come back to you after a while not on the phone or on webcam with you, I really tell you the truth what happened. I told you that I'm hurt and I really hurt. I told that something went wrong when there's really some wrong thing. But there are also time that nothing happened to me and I am all good and I told you that, why don't you believe me? Am I suppose to come back and come up with something that caused by my clumpsiness? :{ Babe I promise you to be careful and I know I can't perfectly doing that all the time, but I try and I success sometimes. Right babe? I know you are really worry about me and what I told you hurt you :{ Im sorry ong xaa, I just really mean it and that was I really thinking and that was nothing happened, I was careful and nothing happened to me, I'm seriously telling the truth. And the truth makes you not talking to me anymore.. Why ong xa? Sometime I'm really lost of what I did and what makes you sad. I promised myself to always tell you the truth, and that will happen until forever. I know I am such a clumpsie and weird and crazy person but.. you told me to try to be careful and I did.. Why is it make you feel like I'm telling you lies?... Ong xaa, please believe in me.. I really need you to trust me ong xaa because I told you I will never lie to you ... Ong xa and I mean it..

Sometime it's hard to tell how I feel, babe everytime you are not talking to me anymore, I feel like ehh idk what am I going to do how am I going to fix it even though sometime I don't even know why what I did wrong to make you mad or sad. Babe it is really a very very very bad feeling.. I need you to be by my side and always trusting me just like what I always do to you. Babe I'm sorry for the moments that my mistakes make you so disappointed, but them all always done by accident and I always tryna fix it.. Ong xaa please don't ever give up and don't ever leave me a lone or not trusting meee. I really love you, I really need you. Babe you are the reason that keeping me alive.. sarangheyoo ong xa

Happy 11 Months, you are my everything ! Forever love
Apr 22 2010
7:42 pm

Yayy few more mins until our 11 months !! :D

Woooooooot I can't wait it's now 11:18 pm only couple minutes until the TWENTY-SECOND OF APRIL! I lovee youu ong xaa! I really have a fun day today going out with you. Even though there were complicated issue but we got over it together right? I also learned things that I should have done already just like keeping our old time up. I should of talk more and more just like before so that would never makes you feel this way. In the morning was horrible because I feel like I have no where else to go, it was so confused and I feel totally lost. I was so afraid, worry, scare, sad, feeling bad, and all that mixed feeling at the same time. I was really scared that you are going to leave me. I was so afraid that I am too boring to you. Babe you are so important to me that I cannot do anything without you. I love you a lot and f-o-r-e-v-e-r!

Sooooo happpy that all the sad things are over and I hope happy moment between us will last forever! It is almost 11 months, it was not easy for us to get through many problems in so many sides and perspectives. Just because we are strong! Our love is strong, nothing can defeat it, also means that nothing can separate us apart! EVER! Promise we are not going to be mad at each other over little things or no reason no more okay? I can do anything and will do everything to bring you happiness. I will get over myself of my stupid random mistakes or accidents that are going to hurt or make you feel weird. I will do everything babe, just for you <3

Love is the most precious thing in the world that everyone has to respect once they get a chance to have it. And I am the luckiest girl ever to fall in love with you and to have you in my life. I am so thankful. I'm not asking for more but this is more than enough. My life is perfect when I have you, everything is all set. It is all perfect. Thank god <3.

Babe, please don't ever give up, I believe our love is going to last forever! I already planned up everything in our future so we can't just pop the our bubble dream~.

Okaayyyss there's more to say but nothing in mind right now because I am so excited for tomorrow! You are not going to the birthday party but going over with me!! Sooo happppyy and that was I hoped for even though I want you to have fun with your friends. I love you babee!! <333 Tomorrow's blog will be longer than this because now I am going to ready for our anni!!

Niittteeesss!!!!!!!!!! :D

TICK TOC TICK TOC!

~Apr 21 10
11:32 pm~

Never stop trying (:

Time pass by so fast. It is almost our 11 months together and I cannot describe how greatful I am at this moment. I'm just so happy to have him in my life. Thinking back the day I just met you and loving you secretly, it was also a happy time just to see you smile everyday and keep hoping that I can be the lucky girl that you are going to notice. And my wish came true. Its like the first time my dream actually comes true. It comes exactly how it happened in my dream. I am just so happy...
I love you, I love you more everyday. Tomorrow, I will be loving you more than yesterday. It is never stop and the reason is I cannot live without you. But it is true that there is no reason at all once you loving someone more than your own life. It is like your destiny, that someone was send to your life and make a big impact on everything.
Yes, my life has changed once I met him, I understand what is the real happiness. I know it is not going to make my parents happy, but I had been living and growing up for them, I had been doing whatever they told me to do just to make them happy and just to not disappointed them. Everything single thing, I had been a good girl in everyone's eyes and all the people look at me and said that I am a happy little princess. No one knows how I was feeling inside. It is funny how I was so much better of faking that I am fully a happy person when i was little. Maybe because for now, I understand more of what is happening in my life. I started getting some knowledge of finding something that has been missing in my life. It is my own happiness. Yes, I have everything in this house, in this family, I am a much luckier kid than others in the whole world. I am very lucky, I admit that. But, that doesn't mean that I have to stop myself from looking for the missing piece of my life. Everyone has feeling, so why does people trying to stop me from loving the one that is important to me the most? I cannot stop it, I was born like everyone else, they all are growing up, they have different feelings and different purpose and perspectives in their own lives. Me too, I have my own ways to look at lives and I KNOW how to live it. I really wish everyone in the family would understand for me. It is just, I want my own happiness, I cannot living without my heart... Someone there is so much pressure in this family. Because I know they will never understand. I really did not know what to do. But I will have to stand strong and be happy with what I have. Since I did never give up and I will never give it up. It is my happiness, I have to keep it and to make it perfect. Half of it is on my hand and I will never let it go. Half of it is on his hand, and hope he does not let it go either. I believe in us. I love you.
It is almost 11 months. there are so many things that we had been through, good and bad, happy and sad, all that mixed feelings. I'd never think to let it go once, even though I was really afraid that you are going to leave me alone. It is tough for me to handle many things from the family side and all their rumors and stupid conversation from people that has nothing to do with us. I was always trying to do the best to make you happy. It is killing me something you are sad, mad or feeling weird because of some stupid things I did, because it feels like all the hard work I did to make you happy are canceled. I really feel bad and dont know what to do when you feel weird. Babe I love you a lot. I also a clumpsie and lousy person that easy to make a lot of mistakes, Im trying to fix it, but babe please be patient and give me time to be a better person, don't be mad or feeling weird a lot anymore. I really want us to have happy time together. I have dream up and thinking and planning our future, It is so perfect and I will not let anything or anyone popping that dream. Babe I know we both trying to make it happen, I know, that is why I love you. We both had been trying a lot to give each other the best time. I love you ong xaa oii. Sometime Im really sad because you are sad or mad or feeling weird. Sometime I did not even know what to do.. But just think about you, about our love, about what we had been though together, about our plans, our futures, I suddenly not letting myself down but continue on the work of making you happy! Because that is the only thing that makes me happy. Now I am growing up, I also need to responsible for my family part and not keeping up our love until the end of the world! It's tough! But I can do it! We both can do it! I am a bit weird around these time because I get too emotional and take things more serious like you do. I am sorry that bothers you babee, I will fix it, I know it is easy to say, but as long as I try the best, sooner or later I can do it! Ong xa please don't be mad no more if you reading this. I really love you, I really do. You are just my everything, babe both of us are trying to protect our love, so let's keep trying. We can do it together. You know that I love you, I really do... It is just a fact of my life, without you, my life also be destroyed..

Apr 20 2010 ~ 11:02 PM