saying goodbye to 2009. I love you babe.. I really miss yu alot.. );

It's the last minutes of 2OO9. Saying good bye to a memoriable year, a year that I actually received the true and real love ♥ I love you babe yrme ! ♥ 2O1O will be even better since I will never stop trying to give us happiness and I believe the same goes to you ♥ I cant live without you ong xa ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (:

Idk, Im just really down and sad right now and idk the reason. Well maybe I can feel it but im not sure if that is it.. Ong xa I really wanna spend New Year&New Year EVE with you! But its obviously cant happen at this time. Anyways, 2009, I think I made so many mistakes that made yu sad and feel bad or feeling bothered, its just because I usually dont/cant think before say or do anything that usually makes thing bad. I wish I could do better of making you happy which is one of my only goal of life, building our love, heating up our happiness and getting to your dreams! <3 Thuii the only thing my heart knows and will always knowing is that I love you, I really do, I seriously do. Love is absolutely NO JOKE AT ALL to me. It's just too special and precious to play with, so do you. I'd never play with your heart and I NEVER WILL! It's just me, the clumsy-self and sometime I even look/ act like a fool without knowing, I was always afraid that I'd embarrass you in front of others, but you were always making me feel special and turn me to the happiest and luckiest person in the world just to have you in my life. Idk what else to ask for, I just had enough, it's you, your heart, and your happiness.

2009 just had soooooo much memories that I will never ever forget. The year that I met you, the happy and nervous moment around the time that I secretly liking you and tried everything to let you know and all that. Its just toooo special to forget. Everything about you is special, EVERYTHING.

Thui oii, I really miss you, I really wanna be with you now. right now ); . Even though I'm webcaming with you now, but you are sleeping, I know youre tired, its okie, I love to see you sleep babe <3 . But before you sleep, you didn't seem very happy, and it's New year in few minutes, I just feel like I havent accomplished something important before New Year, I think that's exactly the reason why I'm feeling sad right now.. Babee I really wanna see yu smile before yer going to sleep, it has a big power to me, it makes me automatically happy too no matter anything had gone wrong during the day. & I have church 2morrow mornig too, there will be no time for me to tell you all this so you can smile and feel happy in New Year. Urgg I feel so weird, I didnt see you happy, I didnt see you smile, I really wanna say Happy New Year and share the happy time with you at 12:00 AM the FIRST SECOND of 2O1O but it seems to be impossible now cause your already asleep (: . Well it was my plan since few days ago to happy you laugh and happy in the first seconds of 2O1O. But its okay, I lOve you, and I believe in 2O1O, I will make you happier and happier everyday passes by because I will never stop trying no matter waht. Permission has not accomplish, you didn't smile before going to sleep in the last day of 2009, but once agen its alright, you will be smiling for the rest of our 135 years together ! <3 I believe in me, in you, and in our love babe (: <333

Okay I should stop feeling down now, its almost there! Start out fresh ! 2O1O will be awesome as long as Im with you and I will always being with you no matter how much it costs. Its just all I can do, because it's just me, a simple normal person who just has a biggest love in the heart in the world, and it's all for you babe, your the most special person in my life. Or should I say, you are my everything, more than my everything, because it was what I meant.

I cant live without babe, I will just going to whisper happy new year to you at the first second in 2O1O babe, as long as your heart feels it, I feel alright (: <3 Hold me tight and never lets go! I changed my mind, not until we're 150 years old, but until FOREVER. Our love will never end, NEVER! Because this is it, this is right, I feel it, maybe no one can tell or believe me, but this is what I had been looking for, a true love, with you ong xa. <3 Thui butt oi, and you know, its our true love, and true love never has an ending. <3

I love you babe ! forever, eeverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! <3333333333
-11:57pm- Dec 31 2009 (:

Chistmas O9. I wish you were here ong xa );

Its Christmas agen (: Chirstmas is a peaceful and awesome day, I was always wating for Christmas, just for the feeling of it, it'd never had been fun anyways in my life, i just dont get why...

This year, there's a hugeeee different, my life becomes awesome! It's the sweetest, happiest, awesomest and everything best ! I cant describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. Since the day O522O9, my life has changed completely, no more loneliness, no more embarrass of myself, I became stronger, because yu're always there for me. I just love you alot babee, I really do, my heart cant beat without loving you, I cant live without you, yer the only the reason which is keeping my alive. Since the day I met you, everything I do, no matter how little or how big it is, I still think of you before doing it. On my prayers, yer always go first, Im always giving you the best prayers off all, I dont care if anything happens to me, when yer alright and happy, Im even happier. That's why Im always happy with how things go, as long as yer happy and safety, my life is more than awesome! <3 Yu are just my everything. because yu took my heart away, yur just too special, Im willing to let yu keep my heart no matter waht, because yu also gave yurs to me. no matter what happens, my heart is still yours, and without your heart, I will not able to live (:

Now, sitting here alone, I really miss you so much babeee, idk why Im so emotional at this time, maybe because yer not around me, ); I realllyy miss you aloooott . I dont know what else to do, but missing you. But its okie as long as yur having fun ! I just wish tomorrow to come faster so I can see you and spend time with you ! :D I wished and prayed for yer sweet Christmas though (: I wonder what did you do Im really excited to hear to talk about your day ! :D Even though itsVERY bored here, but 0o well.. (: everyone leaves me alone babe, noone cares about me, just like old time ^^'' ; but its okiee, having you in my life is enough, Im not asking for anything else but yer happiness and saftiness! ^O^ I love you alott ong xaaa ! I really want to see you now, I really miss you, I cant stand it.. I cant hold it back to myself T-T

I dont get why, I dont EVER get why my family wont lemme have a bf. I really want to show you to EVERYONE in the world include my fam, but why cant i?! O0 my god this feeling is sooooo bad, babe I want to bring you to my family, I want to come over to spend time with yer family, I want to bring you over to my family and spend time with us too, I want to go to church with you, I want to cook thngs with you and I want to sleep over or I want to sleep over yours. It would be the awesomest thing. Babe Im sorry for all that, I cant let my family know now, but I will ! Sooner but not too later, they will have to accept the truth, without you, I cannot live. <3 Ong xa believe me, trust me ong xa. I can do it ! (:

awwws what you are doing now, I wish I can be there with you, or you can be here. WHATEVER! As long as I can be withyou, I feel satisfied ! <3 Babee I love you, I needd you, you are my everything. I cant describe it.. you are just my everything babee <3



I love you babee,
I need you,
I miss yu, alooooootttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt !

Hold me tight and PLEASE never let go, <3

Ong xa oiii, this feeling is one of the worst feeling in my life. I felt so weird, so sad, I felt so strange, everything is messing up on my mind. I hate myself when I didnt talk to you because of no reason, I feel sad when yu dont talk to me by no reasons also. I hate myself for what I did today. I didnt talk to you for the whole way to home from yer grandma's house. well I did said I love you at the orange line Ruggles but yu blow it off and shake yer head. I know yu were just tired, but it hurts me a lot just because just love yu alot, and it hurts when yu does that. Thuii please forgive for all I did, eventhough yu said u werent mad, I know yu weren't. the feeling just really weird when both dont talk to each other. I dont wanna feel like strangers, I wanna feel like yer lovest one, I wanna feel like yer ba xa because I AM yer ba xa. Thui oii please Dont ever let go of mee. I love yu alot! No matter what happens, Im still loving you and will always need yu in my life. Thui I really love you, its just Im so weird sometimes, I know its not a big deal to you but it is for me. Anything that has to do with you always big to me. When Im about to get out of the train, I had a chance to kiss thui the last kiss for this weekend until next monday, but how stupid of me I didnt take my chance and I kissed you so weird. Im sorry thuii, yu will never know how I felt after I left the train. I feel like Im about to fall down or something, I was soooo regret I didnt kiss yu like how I meant it, I really wanted to kiss yu 100000000000000000000000000000x10000000000000000000 times, but idk why, because yu didnt talk, I didnt talk, we both didnt even smile at each other, I feel reallly sad and idks, its just all because Im stupid.
Thui oii maybe yu would wondering why I cried alot for just a small thing like that, because I love you, its not a small thing to me the way I kissed yu like that. I take everythiing seriously about our love because I seriously love you with all my heart. And also... the way yu acted today scared me. I scared that thuis gonna leave away from me. I scared that thui will think Im mad at thui while I wasnt. I was just hating myself for being so UURRRGGHH. It was even made my asthma comes up and attacked me a lil, my heart aches because of my stupidness. thui also acted so cold after that. I know yu just feeling weird because I cried out of nowhere. But thuiii please donttt ever act liek that to me ); . Ong xaaa oii Im sorrryyyy. I need yer warmness and I need yer smile to heat everything up. Thuii oii, ong xaa oiii please never ever everrr let go from meeeee. Without you, my life would me meaningless and I will just gonna be Nothing. Ong xa, Im believe in you that yu will never leave me alone, I believe in yu that yu will making my dreams come truee. Ong xa oiii lets act like 3 hours ago had never happened. This time, 8:02pm Friday Dec 4 2009. I promised once agen, I will NEVER make thui feel weird again. I will no matter what willing to give thui the best of me like Im always do to make thui happy, no more sadness or strange moment. I will never break anymore promises. NEVER EVER AGAIN!.

All this thinking might pop up so typically and complicated. But its only what and how I feel. I miss yu ong xa, I wanna be with you now until forever. I wanna hold yu tight and kiss you. I wanna sleep on yer arms. Thuii oii, maybe Im a complicated weirdo ba xa, but its all because I love you, I always want to make our love and dream perfect. I always want to make yu perfectly happy. But sometimes I still failed and make yu sad. Dont worry babe, this will be the last time I failed, from now on, as I was promising, our love will get stronger and we still gonna be the happiest couple in the world! I will never give up and I believe yu will never gonna give up either. Babe you are my everything.

I know one day, sooner or later yu will find out and read this. Ong xa, I know you will never let me go, I know yu'd always give me yer best. I know yu loved me with all yer heart. And thui oii, yur the only reason that keeps me living. And of course, we gonna marry in 8 years 5 months and 12 days! I cant wait! Thuii I love you! I do not know how to express my feeling! Its just that I CANT EVER live without you! Thuiii please always be happy! I love you ong xaa.. I love you.... <333333333333