Ong xa, Im sorry );

Uhh I AM SO STUPID ! AHHHHH Whats wrong with meeee?!! what the heck is going on with me?? Why can't I just get ong xa's jokes and fool around with him too to make both happy? Why can't I done that all a long but always take stuff so seriously now it turned out that I'm sad make ong xa feels weird. eh everything I done are stupid, why can't I just happy with his jokes so then everything can be fine? Why do I have to be so typical? ahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!! Soooo many questions on my head need answers ! Ong xaa I really love you, the more I love you the more I'm afraid that I'm going to loose you by den I would ended up dying. Ong xaa I really need you, that was why I take stuff seriously between our love. I really tried to be happy with the jokes because I know you love me and I know you were just playing. But I dont know why! I really Dont know why I feel so weird and sad and down and AHHHH ! After I made you feel down and weird, I feel stupid by all I had done. Ong xaa Im sorriee, I kept being afraid that by all those stupid thing I made would make you tired of me and wanna leave me! Ong xa please dont! I'm really scared, ong xaa if I dont have you in my life, all the dreams and all my goals of life are also gone if yer goneee. Without you, Im nothing ong xaa. Please dont ever leave me alone. Ong xaa I am sorrryy, I dont know what to tell you, because I have a lot on me right now, I just want to make you happy, but I dont know why I really dont want to be sad when you siad yer jokes, but my body just turned down. AHHHH I CANT EVEN CONTROL MY OWN SELF. like WHAT THE HECK?! I really wanna scream, I really want you to understand. So many times I told myself to think before do or say something, but when things come, my stupidity of me arose again. I can't help it ong xa ); . Maybe I'm so immature or something that can't think or do anything right. But the thing that I know that would never be wrong, EVER, is my heart needs you to keep its beats, without you, it would stop beating. I'm serious about that, I really am.
Ong xa oii, I dont know what to tell you, I just want you to understand because I dont know how to explain, I feel really weird right now! Its like I want you to know that I love you and I really am sorry for being sad and down, but if I say that, it's going to bother you and you willl be more down and have long breaths and everything. So I don't wanna put more on you, now I'm sitting here, with the hope that we are going to be happy again, and will never have those kind of sad moments anymore. I just don't know what to do to solve this, I'm so useless ong xaa. );

Ong xa oii, I really am sad when we had a lot of bad moments around this time, I don't know what to do but keep praying everyday for you to be happy till forever, for you to trust me at all time because I would never lie to you. I prayed for our love would last forever. It's not that I just only pray, but I also tried and will trying hard until FOREVER. Ong xa believe me, after today, I will try even harder, try my best to destroy all the bad moments between us. there will be only happiness. I know I said this a lot of time already and I still can't do it, but at least I tried hard, and I will always trying hard, I believe one day I will accomplish it to bring your happiness to you. Ong xa, Im sowwiee, I really can't concentrate to study right now. Because the feeling that I want to tell you something but then I don't know how to say it and afraid its going to make you feel weirder. I have done enough stupid things, I just want you to be happy, ong xa I'm sorry. T-T

I love you ong xaa, I will try my best to bring you happinessss. Ong xa believe me, I really am going to no mater how much it costs. I just wanna lay on your arms right now, I wanna feel the warmness from you ong xa, I feel so cold at this place. Ong xa, I wanna be withyou at all time. Please, don't ever let go of me. Ong xa, I love you a lot, with all my heart, always and forever.
Em yeu anh <3 Sorry for all I did babe, I will be a better me, so don't be sad or weird no more. I will bring you happiness <3

-11:28 AM-

I'm stupid.

Okay, whats going on with me? Why do I soooo mooddy and mad and stupid and dump and EVERYTHING ! LIKE WAH HAPPENED TO ME?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I feel like exploding ! Ong xaa, that was the dumpiest thing I've ever did to you in my life, I didnt mean to talk to a guy on AIM, we really did not say anything beside normally talking to each other as a unclose friend. Ong xa, I know how it feels like, Im too selfish, Im sad when yu talk to girls and now I talk to guy, Im such a stupid person, I know acts like yu dont care, but it bothers you, I know ong xa. It means yu love me most, it shows that yu only loves me and only me, that makes yu jealous, I totally understand that, ong xa I love you, I really do, Ong xa i dont know what to do now, the more yur acting like you dont care, the more stupid I feel. Ong xa, I know you don't want to control me or anything, but it makes me happy when Thui cares about what I do, every single thing, I dont care if its too controlling or not, everything and anything for you, I dont mind, I never did. I dont know why I cant let it over with, I felt so bad and until now I feel so uncomfortable, why did I talk to a guy? It's stupid enough for me to think not to tell you at first, but I told you, because I love you and I don't wanna hide from you anything, as I pinky promised. Ong xa, Ong xa oi.. what can I do, I really don't know what to do to make yu feel better, stop telling me that its fine, its w/e, its 0oo weelll, since they are the most nonsense thing I've ever heard, Dont lie to yourself anymore ong xa, please don't. Let acts like what you think, I thought we were one, so don't ignore me or lying to yourself and me, I rather let yu stay mad at me and eveyrthing, rather than keep saying that your okay while you're not. That just hurts me a lot babe. I wished I can get some punishments from you, I deserves any kinds of punishment. This is totally not a small deal to me, NOT AT ALL. Last night was sooo horrible, I feel like I'm dying or something, all the stress came to me, asthma came, hotness came, too much thinking, too worrying, too sad, too shame, too stupid. I felt worse than that. And I dont know why, our love just toooooo precious that no one can touch it or anything, and now Im the one who hurts it, Im sorry ong xa, i dont know how many sorries can fit in here, Im just really sowwieee, It wont happen again, never ever again, because I dont need anything else but you. Ong xa oii, I cant describe my feeling at this time, it's just too horrible, what can I do to fix all this. What can I really do ong xa?
My eyes are buring, the bruise was hurt, but its nothing compares with the pain in my heart, I tried to hold back these tears so you won't get worry, I tried to smile to make things better, but why I am so bad at this, ong xa, I feel so bad, I feel so sick of my stupidity, Ill be a better me ong xa, I dont want anything to bother you, I cant explain to you anymore, cause it seems like the more I explain, the more you feel bothered. But I really want to prove that my heart has only you, I didnt mean to hurt you and our love, I really didn't mean to. Ong xa, please don't say "I dont really care" , or "you can do w/e its you and yu can decide", that sounds so bad to me, why so ong xa?? We are one, we exchanged our hearts, so why can't you decide for me? Why do I have to do w/e. You think its bad to control me? This is why Im different, I dont care, anything and everything for you, anythiing. I wanna say more, more, more more. Because my feeling is like a river and it wants a little gap to flow away so all those things and stresses can flow away too. But theres no gap at this time, I still feel horrible by doing it. Ong xa, I cant describe how much I love you, I really can't describe my love for you, it's too precious and special, you are my truelove, you took my heart away and you cant return it. you CANT ever return it to me cause I want your heart and I'm not giving it away and Im not giving it back to you either, NEVER. Without your heart, Im dead. Ong xa, I love you, I love you I love you. What else can i say, Im too helpless, I cant solve anything, ong xa, i dont know what else to do, but hoping that one day you'll see that I really mean it, true love never has an ending, and this is our true love, I'm not afraid that you will never understand me. I believe you will, because we were one, nothing can separate us, I believe you will know how I feel at this time and Please ong xa, feel better, it wont happen agen or anything other bad things, It wont happen, ever. Never, agen.


I love you babe, Idk why I felt dead, its stupid i know lols :] but I wont die, I wont, I love you ong xaa, yer keeping me alive, life is too stressful, you're the only reason that's keeping me alive <333 My head hurts, my eye hurts, my nose hurts, my body hurts, asthma came, all of these are nothing compares with my heart, it hurts because I've done this to you. Im sorry ong xaaa.. I really am sorry, I believe my heart will be fine again when things are clear, I know we can get over this, because I wont let anything ruins our love. you're the only one in my heart, I love you ong xa. I love you <3333

-8:13PM