I'm stupid.

Okay, whats going on with me? Why do I soooo mooddy and mad and stupid and dump and EVERYTHING ! LIKE WAH HAPPENED TO ME?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I feel like exploding ! Ong xaa, that was the dumpiest thing I've ever did to you in my life, I didnt mean to talk to a guy on AIM, we really did not say anything beside normally talking to each other as a unclose friend. Ong xa, I know how it feels like, Im too selfish, Im sad when yu talk to girls and now I talk to guy, Im such a stupid person, I know acts like yu dont care, but it bothers you, I know ong xa. It means yu love me most, it shows that yu only loves me and only me, that makes yu jealous, I totally understand that, ong xa I love you, I really do, Ong xa i dont know what to do now, the more yur acting like you dont care, the more stupid I feel. Ong xa, I know you don't want to control me or anything, but it makes me happy when Thui cares about what I do, every single thing, I dont care if its too controlling or not, everything and anything for you, I dont mind, I never did. I dont know why I cant let it over with, I felt so bad and until now I feel so uncomfortable, why did I talk to a guy? It's stupid enough for me to think not to tell you at first, but I told you, because I love you and I don't wanna hide from you anything, as I pinky promised. Ong xa, Ong xa oi.. what can I do, I really don't know what to do to make yu feel better, stop telling me that its fine, its w/e, its 0oo weelll, since they are the most nonsense thing I've ever heard, Dont lie to yourself anymore ong xa, please don't. Let acts like what you think, I thought we were one, so don't ignore me or lying to yourself and me, I rather let yu stay mad at me and eveyrthing, rather than keep saying that your okay while you're not. That just hurts me a lot babe. I wished I can get some punishments from you, I deserves any kinds of punishment. This is totally not a small deal to me, NOT AT ALL. Last night was sooo horrible, I feel like I'm dying or something, all the stress came to me, asthma came, hotness came, too much thinking, too worrying, too sad, too shame, too stupid. I felt worse than that. And I dont know why, our love just toooooo precious that no one can touch it or anything, and now Im the one who hurts it, Im sorry ong xa, i dont know how many sorries can fit in here, Im just really sowwieee, It wont happen again, never ever again, because I dont need anything else but you. Ong xa oii, I cant describe my feeling at this time, it's just too horrible, what can I do to fix all this. What can I really do ong xa?
My eyes are buring, the bruise was hurt, but its nothing compares with the pain in my heart, I tried to hold back these tears so you won't get worry, I tried to smile to make things better, but why I am so bad at this, ong xa, I feel so bad, I feel so sick of my stupidity, Ill be a better me ong xa, I dont want anything to bother you, I cant explain to you anymore, cause it seems like the more I explain, the more you feel bothered. But I really want to prove that my heart has only you, I didnt mean to hurt you and our love, I really didn't mean to. Ong xa, please don't say "I dont really care" , or "you can do w/e its you and yu can decide", that sounds so bad to me, why so ong xa?? We are one, we exchanged our hearts, so why can't you decide for me? Why do I have to do w/e. You think its bad to control me? This is why Im different, I dont care, anything and everything for you, anythiing. I wanna say more, more, more more. Because my feeling is like a river and it wants a little gap to flow away so all those things and stresses can flow away too. But theres no gap at this time, I still feel horrible by doing it. Ong xa, I cant describe how much I love you, I really can't describe my love for you, it's too precious and special, you are my truelove, you took my heart away and you cant return it. you CANT ever return it to me cause I want your heart and I'm not giving it away and Im not giving it back to you either, NEVER. Without your heart, Im dead. Ong xa, I love you, I love you I love you. What else can i say, Im too helpless, I cant solve anything, ong xa, i dont know what else to do, but hoping that one day you'll see that I really mean it, true love never has an ending, and this is our true love, I'm not afraid that you will never understand me. I believe you will, because we were one, nothing can separate us, I believe you will know how I feel at this time and Please ong xa, feel better, it wont happen agen or anything other bad things, It wont happen, ever. Never, agen.


I love you babe, Idk why I felt dead, its stupid i know lols :] but I wont die, I wont, I love you ong xaa, yer keeping me alive, life is too stressful, you're the only reason that's keeping me alive <333 My head hurts, my eye hurts, my nose hurts, my body hurts, asthma came, all of these are nothing compares with my heart, it hurts because I've done this to you. Im sorry ong xaaa.. I really am sorry, I believe my heart will be fine again when things are clear, I know we can get over this, because I wont let anything ruins our love. you're the only one in my heart, I love you ong xa. I love you <3333

-8:13PM