Ong xa oiii, this feeling is one of the worst feeling in my life. I felt so weird, so sad, I felt so strange, everything is messing up on my mind. I hate myself when I didnt talk to you because of no reason, I feel sad when yu dont talk to me by no reasons also. I hate myself for what I did today. I didnt talk to you for the whole way to home from yer grandma's house. well I did said I love you at the orange line Ruggles but yu blow it off and shake yer head. I know yu were just tired, but it hurts me a lot just because just love yu alot, and it hurts when yu does that. Thuii please forgive for all I did, eventhough yu said u werent mad, I know yu weren't. the feeling just really weird when both dont talk to each other. I dont wanna feel like strangers, I wanna feel like yer lovest one, I wanna feel like yer ba xa because I AM yer ba xa. Thui oii please Dont ever let go of mee. I love yu alot! No matter what happens, Im still loving you and will always need yu in my life. Thui I really love you, its just Im so weird sometimes, I know its not a big deal to you but it is for me. Anything that has to do with you always big to me. When Im about to get out of the train, I had a chance to kiss thui the last kiss for this weekend until next monday, but how stupid of me I didnt take my chance and I kissed you so weird. Im sorry thuii, yu will never know how I felt after I left the train. I feel like Im about to fall down or something, I was soooo regret I didnt kiss yu like how I meant it, I really wanted to kiss yu 100000000000000000000000000000x10000000000000000000 times, but idk why, because yu didnt talk, I didnt talk, we both didnt even smile at each other, I feel reallly sad and idks, its just all because Im stupid.
Thui oii maybe yu would wondering why I cried alot for just a small thing like that, because I love you, its not a small thing to me the way I kissed yu like that. I take everythiing seriously about our love because I seriously love you with all my heart. And also... the way yu acted today scared me. I scared that thuis gonna leave away from me. I scared that thui will think Im mad at thui while I wasnt. I was just hating myself for being so UURRRGGHH. It was even made my asthma comes up and attacked me a lil, my heart aches because of my stupidness. thui also acted so cold after that. I know yu just feeling weird because I cried out of nowhere. But thuiii please donttt ever act liek that to me ); . Ong xaaa oii Im sorrryyyy. I need yer warmness and I need yer smile to heat everything up. Thuii oii, ong xaa oiii please never ever everrr let go from meeeee. Without you, my life would me meaningless and I will just gonna be Nothing. Ong xa, Im believe in you that yu will never leave me alone, I believe in yu that yu will making my dreams come truee. Ong xa oiii lets act like 3 hours ago had never happened. This time, 8:02pm Friday Dec 4 2009. I promised once agen, I will NEVER make thui feel weird again. I will no matter what willing to give thui the best of me like Im always do to make thui happy, no more sadness or strange moment. I will never break anymore promises. NEVER EVER AGAIN!.
All this thinking might pop up so typically and complicated. But its only what and how I feel. I miss yu ong xa, I wanna be with you now until forever. I wanna hold yu tight and kiss you. I wanna sleep on yer arms. Thuii oii, maybe Im a complicated weirdo ba xa, but its all because I love you, I always want to make our love and dream perfect. I always want to make yu perfectly happy. But sometimes I still failed and make yu sad. Dont worry babe, this will be the last time I failed, from now on, as I was promising, our love will get stronger and we still gonna be the happiest couple in the world! I will never give up and I believe yu will never gonna give up either. Babe you are my everything.
I know one day, sooner or later yu will find out and read this. Ong xa, I know you will never let me go, I know yu'd always give me yer best. I know yu loved me with all yer heart. And thui oii, yur the only reason that keeps me living. And of course, we gonna marry in 8 years 5 months and 12 days! I cant wait! Thuii I love you! I do not know how to express my feeling! Its just that I CANT EVER live without you! Thuiii please always be happy! I love you ong xaa.. I love you.... <333333333333
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